Wus da night afo’ Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin’ and da sleepin’ be good.
We done hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck
dat Obama soon be done brang us our checks.

All of da family, was lay’in on da flo’,
my sister wif her gurlfriend, my brother wif some ho.
Ashtrays was all full, empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk….”Sh’eet,
must be da law”.

I pulled the sheet off da window to see what I’ze could
see,
I was spectin’ the sherrif, wif a warrent fo’ me.
But what did I see, made me say, “Lawd look ‘a
dat!”
Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.

Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha’s got a black un’
tonight.
Faster than a poe’lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped on dem rats, as he called dem by name.

On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who,
On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obam landed dat melon, right d’ere in da street,
I see’d it fo’ sho’, – can you believe that
Sheet?

Dat Santy didn’t need no chimley, he picked da lock on
my do’,
an I sez to myself, “Son o’ bitch…he don did dis
befo!”
He had a big bag full of loot, presents at first I suspeck,
Wif “Air Jordans” and fake gold to wear roun’
my neck.

But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burgler kit.
Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windo’ he flew.
I sho’ woulda shanked him, but he snagged my blade too!

He jumped back on dat melon wif out even a hitch,
and wuz gone in two seconds, da democrat son’abitch.
So nex year I be hopin’ a white Santy we git,
’cause a black Santy Claws, just ain’t werf a shit!